I. Human Nature
There was a time when I felt utterly disillusioned—this place seemed like a moral and intellectual desert.
Of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill’d with the foolish.
—Walt Whitman, “O Me! O Life!”
Genuine kindness was rare. People’s thinking couldn’t escape the gravity of survival and wealth.
But any functioning system needs citizens who match its spirit.
Policies only succeed when society collectively wills them into being.
When a universally accepted policy strikes you as absurd, chances are you’re the one out of sync with the mainstream.
So when they restricted my freedom, I didn’t just resent the policymakers—I blamed equally every citizen who backed those foolish rules, and the culture that bred both the officials and their policies.
After all, these officials came from the people. They’re often the best of them.
Replace them with a random sample from the population, and you’d likely get the same thinking.
You can smell everyday culture in every policy, see how they flow naturally from the survival tactics people use with each other daily.
II. National Character
Does national character even exist?
Is humanity disappointing everywhere, or just here?
People kept telling me:
Social science has debunked national character as pseudoscience.
People are malleable—shaped by education, propaganda, environment.
But I remained skeptical. This only denies that national character is fixed forever—it doesn’t mean societies can’t display persistent patterns over long stretches of time.
Even if people are malleable, transformation takes decades.
Meanwhile, reality kept proving my cynicism right. Deeply discouraging.
Then the White Paper protests happened. People showed me that change is real.
They reminded me that reality constantly defies my expectations.
Three years earlier, I’m certain most protesters would have sided with the regime.
Even now, they’re probably only protesting because this issue falls under Mr. Science’s jurisdiction, where right and wrong are clearer.
And even on scientific matters, I doubt many oppose for the right reasons.
But you know what? It doesn’t matter.
Limited knowledge, biased understanding—so what?
As long as people keep searching for freedom, hope survives.
Some fall. Some get lost. That doesn’t mean they’re lost forever.
Scrolling through my Weibo from a decade ago, I found myself asking whether nobleness exists.
I’ve wrestled with human nature that long. It reminded me what fundamentally matters to me.
Like starlight shining through the endless dark cosmos.
I know the backdrop is vast nothingness. I know searching for universal answers is nearly futile.
I know there’s infinite chaos and shadow, places that crumble under close examination.
But something transcends all that. When you see it, you just know—that’s goodness. That’s light.
Besides, I’m so glad that you came back.